I want to begin by saying that over the past three years I have wasted way too much time on Tinder. I’ve been on there enough to laugh, cringe, rage-delete my profile twice, and even went on a date where the guy cried over his ex at sushi. Tinder commercials depict love at first sight, heart-shaped balloons, and other unrealistic things to build the anticipation.
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What I (Surprisingly) Liked
1. The dopamine rush is real.
I won’t lie, swiping gave me a weird thrill. That little “It’s a Match! When someone I liked liked me back, it was exciting. Instant dopamine hit. I matched this one time with a guy who had a photo with a puppy and a kayak—my two weaknesses. We dated for two months. No regrets.
2. You can be shamelessly picky.
I loved the power of the left swipe. Gym selfie with no shirt? Left. Bio that says “Just ask”? Left. One-word answers to prompts? Left, left, left. It felt like curating my own rom-com cast… until it didn’t (more on that later).
3. It works for last-minute plans.
When my friends bailed on concert tickets I had, I decided to message a Tinder match I’d been chatting with for three days saying, “Want to see band tonight?” He agreed upon my request of “No Serial Killers, Please”. We had a lot of fun and kissed in the parking lot and never spoke again. Peak Tinder.
What Drove Me Absolutely Insane
1. The “Hot or Not” vibe killed my soul.
After a while, swiping felt like doomscrolling. I realized I was rejecting people for little things: “Ew, that shirt.” “There are too many group pictures.” “Why is his face tilted? It made me hate how judgmental I was. Once, I unknowingly swiped left on a nice person I knew in real life. RIP.
2. Ghosting is the default.
I’d say 70% of my matches went like this:
- Match → “Hey! Love your bio!” → [crickets].
Or worse: - Great convo → “Let’s grab coffee!” → [unmatched].
One guy even scheduled a date, confirmed the time, then blocked me while I was en route. I sat at the bar alone, drank a margarita, and vowed to never trust again.
3. The bots. Oh God, the bots.
I’ve seen at least 15 “women” sending OnlyFans links and crypto scams or fake Instagrams. A “model” sent me a bunch of emojis and a sketchy link. Another asked for my WhatsApp number after two messages. Using Tinder’s report option feels useless—they just come back like zombies.
4. Tinder Gold is a trap.
I caved and paid for a month of Gold. I thought it would be cool to see who liked me until I realized 90% of them were people I wouldn’t even swipe right on. Using “Super Likes” mostly got me matches with creeps who thought it meant I was “down to fuck.” After a month, I never used it again.
The Final Straws
- The “Nice Guy” who turned nasty: After I politely declined a second date, he called me a “waste of time” and unmatched.
- The crypto bro: Spent 45 minutes mansplaining Bitcoin, then asked to split the bill for his $28 craft cocktail.
- The burnout: I realized I’d spent 3 hours swiping one Sunday instead of calling my mom.
What Finally Worked For Me
After permanently deleting Tinder, I tried other apps that felt less like a part-time job and more… human. I truly interacted with people who were interested in real conversations, recollected info from my bio, and didn’t ghost if I took 12 hours to reply.
I wrote a whole article here about dating apps that I and others have had success with—no shady algorithms, no games, and very few bot profiles.
Would I Recommend Tinder?
If you’re bored, thick-skinned, and want casual fun? Maybe. But if you’re even the slightest bit emotionally drained by dating apps, Tinder will crush you. It is very tempting; it’s quick, but leaves you with a gross feeling afterward.
These days, I’m off the swipe life. My mental health thanks me.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
How can you tell if someone is real on Tinder?
Some signs someone on Tinder is real include varied photos, authentic-sounding bio info, prompt replies to messages, and interest in chatting before meeting up. Avoid profiles with professional photos or little bio info.
What happens if you get banned from Tinder?
Getting banned from Tinder means you lose access to your account and matches. This can happen if Tinder detects inappropriate behavior like harassment, spamming or underage use. You’ll have to appeal to Tinder customer support.
Can you find friends on Tinder?
While mainly for dating, some people use Tinder’s search function to connect with new friends or locals who share interests. But it lacks friend-focused features, so other apps like Bumble BFF may be better for strictly platonic connections.
Is Tinder safe for LGBTQ users?
Tinder offers options for LGBTQ users to display orientation and gender identity, but some still experience harassment. Adding safety tips in profiles, not linking other accounts, and reporting bad behavior can help create a better experience.
What happens when you run out of Tinder swipes?
Free Tinder users get a limited number of right swipes per day. If you hit the limit, you’ll have to wait 12 hours to swipe again or pay for extras via Tinder Plus or Tinder Gold.
Can you use Tinder on a computer?
Tinder’s main app is mobile-only, but users can access it on desktop at tinder.com. The web version is limited – you can view profiles and match, but messaging is mobile-only.
Does Tinder show inactive profiles?
Tinder tries not to show inactive users. But it’s possible to encounter stale profiles, as Tinder only hides inactive accounts after 2 weeks. For optimal matching, users need to open the app regularly.
Is Tinder effective for over 40 dating?
Tinder can work for over 40 singles looking for romance. But niche apps may better cater to mature daters by allowing search filters by age range, relationship intention, lifestyle, and more.
Can you use Tinder internationally?
The Tinder app lets you swipe anywhere in the world using Tinder Passport. Just change your location via the settings. This unlocks potential matches in other cities or countries.
What are the most popular times to use Tinder?
Peak Tinder usage is Sunday evenings and Monday nights, especially around 9 pm. Fewer people swipe on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Saturdays. Less competition can improve your odds of getting noticed.
I’m Kary Walters, a wedding planner and writer with a passion for helping couples stay together and achieve their relationship goals. With over a decade of experience, I specialize in self-improvement and have worked with individuals & couples facing challenges.