Taking a break in a relationship: decision-making, impact, and moving forward

Key points

Here are 3 key points about taking a break in a relationship:

• Establish the rules
• Reconnect with yourself.
• Figure out if you should stay together.

The Break by Marian Keyes is about a couple, Amy and Hugh. They have a lovely marriage. This couple has been together for a long time; their relationship is stale. They both agree to stay away from each other for some time to give each other some space.

Overview of Amy and Hugh’s relationship

Hugh and Amy has been couple since for a very long time. They reside together and know each other too well. However, they tend to quarrel because they are bored. They don’t enjoy each other’s company as they once did. They feel they’re just going through the motions.

Initial signs of strain and need for a break

Amy and Hugh tried to overlook their issues and tell each other they were fine. “They kept repeating the same fights over and over again.” They weren’t interested in each other’s life anymore. Things got so bad that they hated spending time together. Around this point, they learned to take a break from the relationship, to gain perspective and decide if they want to stay together.

Decision to Take a Break

In a relationship, things may stagnate at times or people may grow apart. When that happens, we normally feel the need to take a break. Taking a break will help you to reflect and get perspective. They allow you to concentrate on yourself for a while. You can take the time you need to think about what you want. Without a doubt, taking the decision to take a break is somewhat challenging. Before anything else, have a frank discussion with your partner.

Discussion and negotiation between partners

Before you have a break, have a peaceful conversation with your partner. Tell them how you feel and your thoughts that time apart is helpful. Hear out what they think as well. When you need to take a break, then making that decision together is best.

Talk about things like how long it will be and what the rules will be. Will you cut contact completely or just pull back a bit? Let’s get clear on the instructions first. If you don’t like something, negotiate a compromise. Seek a setup both of you feel comfortable in. Through proper communication and many compromises, you can make a break work.

Emotional and practical considerations

Sometimes a break is what we all need. It could be sad, angry, relieved, fearful etc. Reserve some time before, during and after the break to feel. Practical things also have to be considered. If both of you move in together, who will stay where? How will you divide shared expenses like rent? Be fair and kind in and to hardship.

Looking after the particulars helps lessen fights later on. Even if you’re breaking up treat your partner well. A break isn’t the end of the road. Growing up is no big deal. If you are thoughtful and communicate the need for a break, it can help your relationship.

Experiencing the Break

Amy and Ryan’s break-up was a big deal in their lives. It felt strange and a little sad not to be together anymore after that long pause.

Both of them formed mutual connections but were quite relieved by the flesh space. They both felt lonely and uncertain about the future.

Life changes and personal growth during the break

Amy and Ryan were working on themselves during the break. Once Amy discovered yoga she became healthy and ate good food with many friends. it helped her to realize she has been too reliant on Ryan for happiness. Ryan took guitar lessons, spent more time with old buddies and tried rock climbing. He figured out that he could have fun his self without the need of amy.

Challenges and reflections faced by each partner

At times it was hard to be apart. Ryan’s humor and presence are missed by Amy. She had to get used to doing things alone. Ryan felt lonely and jealous at the thought of Amy being with someone else.

He had to face his possessiveness. Both were questioning whether they had made the right choice. But the space helped to reflect. Amy and Ryan gained a new perspective of their relationship. They realized that they wanted to reconcile after some time apart.

Re-evaluation of Relationship

Sometimes time away from your partner can give you a chance to re-think what you want from a relationship. Remember the nice and nasty (lol) moments spent together. Did you both feel happy most of the time? Did we share similar values and interests that brought us together? Knowing what went right in the past can help you decide whether the relationship is worth fighting for.

Examining the roots of problems

In addition, you should look at what broke you apart. Did they face ongoing issues or recent stresses? Is it a fixable problem or a fundamental difference? Looking at where your problems came from will give you an idea of how you can fix them.

Envisioning a future together

Think of how life would be like together again as you take your break. Can you fix the problems? What needs to change to have a healthy happy relationship again? Connecting with someone is possible if we can find a way. If you don’t want it, time to toss it.

Understanding the impact of the break on personal and shared goals

It can help you undergo personal growth and re-evaluate your goals in life. People are capable of recognizing new work goals, interests, or values. Let’s Have an Open Communication about These Changes and Compromise. For communal goals like starting a family, check if you’re both still same page.

Reassessing compatibility

Slow down to think about your changing priorities and preferences. Do you still share common goals? The notion of communicating and sharing our feelings sounds great. Understanding how each of you has changed will be helpful in judging whether or not you are compatible.

Finding middle ground

If a person’s goals now contradict the goals, a serious discussion should take place. Try to come up with a way of working out and coming to an agreement that will help both people feel fulfilled while at the same time building a life together. It’s possible to get back on track through honest communication and compromise.

Reassessing feelings and commitment

It’s normal to feel differently while on a break. Think about how you feel when you’re apart and how you feel when you’re together Are you pumped to catch-up or what? It’s important to seriously evaluate how bonded you truly are. Are you still both committed to making things work between the two of you?

Considering counseling

If you two only feel that there is still love and you basically just need help to rebuild any intimacy or trust, then counseling can provide this for you. A therapist helps you talk and gives you neutral advice. If you two are completely serious about each other, then counseling is worth a shot.

Making a thoughtful decision

Examine how you feel pressure free and guilt free. If there’s no longer that spark between either, don’t lie. Sometimes, we need to let love go even when it really hurts. It would be better to part ways if you both have lost commitment.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

Raquel Smith

I am an award-winning author who has deep insights into the world of dating & relationships. I have won several awards including Andromeda Magazine – Fantasy Short Fiction Story award amongst several other awards and writing achievements.