Questions to ask on a dating app

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Raquel Smith

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Key points

Here are 3 key points about questions to ask on a dating app:

• Know the basics. Ask about their job, where they live, and if they have pets. Get a sense of who they are.

• Get conversational. Ask about hobbies, interests, and favorite sports teams. Find common ground.

• Keep it light. Inquire about pop culture, sense of humor, and dream vacation. Save the deep stuff for later.

Initial Questions Affect Their Development Of Relationship

The first questions you ask when connecting with an online dating match can influence the future relationship in a major way. Better questions lead to better conversations. Better conversations often lead to better outcomes.

Asking about the person’s values, family, passions, life goals, and other personal topics makes the interaction a guaranteed progress in making the conversation more meaningful.  It is said that asking questions shows that a person cares about you.

Light and fun questions have their place as well. The key to this is balance and variety early on. Asking thoughtful and reflective questions can also help in building intimacy in the relationship.

New Study: The Importance of First Impressions Online

First impressions created through digital media are made extremely quick and are based on a limited amount of information according to the study of relationship expert Dr. Helen Fisher.

We can see that judgments about personality and values occur in the first 1-4 minutes. It is the photos, the written content, and the interests expressed that contribute to chemistry.

Dr. Fisher concluded that if a person wants to make a good impression online it is advisable to present themselves positively but authentically through their profile. This small interaction online can have a big impact on how the other person sees you.

Icebreaker Questions

Using a few icebreaker questions is always a good way to start a conversation with someone. Here are some fun and breezy questions you can use to ask them on a dating app.

Fun and Lighthearted Questions

  • What do you like to do on your day off? (This will let you know how a person likes to chill.)
  • Who would you be if you were a cartoon character?
  • What is your favorite concert that you have ever gone to? (Music tastes can say a lot about someone.)
  • What is one food you would like to eat for the rest of your life? (We all have foods that make us feel comfortable. )
  • What’s your go-to dish for special occasions? Why?
  • What is something you are looking forward to in the coming months?
  • Where would you go if you were allowed to travel anywhere? (It reveals their sense of adventure and interests.)
  • What do you do to waste your time? (We all like to have a bit of purposeless fun.)
  • What is the best thing you’ve read or seen this week? (It gives insight into their interests and curiosity.)

Related Questions: Matching the Interest with me

Asking an individual an icebreaker question is mostly effective if it is relevant to them. If someone’s profile shows that they like hiking then ask them about their favorite trails or parks.

  • If they’re very passionate about music go ahead and ask them which concert they recently attended. If they love food then ask them which new restaurant they visited recently.
  • If their profile says they love traveling then ask about what’s on their travel bucket list. Tailoring your questions shows you’ve paid attention and are interested in learning more about them as a person.

This is when the conversation becomes more meaningful and directed on common interests.

Questions for Assessing Compatibility

Asking the right questions early on helps you identify whether you and your potential partner share the same values, want similar things out of life, and have compatible relationship styles. Some compatibility questions you could ask a person you want to date online are listed below.

Life goals and ambitions

  • What is your greatest ambition or desire in life?
  • Where do you see yourself in five or ten years?

– How determined, ambitious, and competitive are you in working out your career or other aims?

Views on family and children

  • Would you like to have children someday?
  • What do you think about raising your kids?
  • Family plays a big role in my life. How about you?

Personality and values

  • Describe your personality in your own words.
  • What qualities do you look for in a partner?
  • What is the most important thing or person in your life?

Exploring values and beliefs through questions

Questions about core values and beliefs can confirm how compatible people are. One certain areas of interest are topics related to politics, religion, and social issues. Here are some examples.

Politics

  • What is your political belief or political group?
  • What is your level of involvement in politics?
  • What are the social issues you consider the most important?

Religion

  • What role does faith or spirituality play in your life?
  • How important is it that your partner shares the same belief?
  • Do you partake in any religious activities that hold personal relevance to your life?

Social issues

  • What social causes are close to your heart?
  • What do you think of equality, climate change, and similar subjects?
  • What do you believe in? What do you think about various social causes?

Research and study done by Dr John Gottman about the Online Dating Compatibility Predictors

According to research by expert Dr. John Gottman several compatibility predictors exist for online dating. Some of them are:

  • Similar values and desire for children.
  • Shared sense of humor.
  • Mutual understanding and respect.
  • Comparable education levels.
  • Shared interests and activities.
  • Same social and political view
  • Financial compatibility.

Deepening the Conversation

Asking the right questions can move things along and help in building deeper connections. Here are some ideas to try:

Questions to move from small talk to bigger questions

  • Share one thing few people know about you. (This invites them to share something more personal.)
  • What are your major interests? (Learn what gets them excited.)
  • What’s your biggest dream? (Understand their hopes and ambitions.)
  • What journey meant the most to you? (Goes beyond the usual small talk.)
  • What one thing would you like to change about yourself? (Reveal insecurities and areas for growth.)

Finding common ground through shared experiences

  • What do you miss most from your past? (Bond over nostalgia.)
  • What’s the most spontaneous act you’ve ever done? (Discover their sense of adventure.)
  • Who has made the biggest impact in your life? (Share influential people.)
  • What’s the best advice you’ve ever been given? (Exchange of wisdom.)
  • Where do you feel the most comfortable? (Understand what brings them comfort.)

Techniques for fostering emotional intimacy

  • Share vulnerabilities and insecurities. (Being open builds trust.)
  • Discuss significant life events. (Look for similar experiences.)
  • Ask thoughtful follow-up questions. (Show that you’re listening attentively.)
  • Be attentive – look the speaker in the eye and demonstrate genuine interest.
  • Offer empathy when appropriate. (Validating feelings creates a connection.)

Questions for Future Planning

Inquiring about one’s plans for the future can make a good conversation in the first weeks of dating. Here are some sample questions a person can ask:

Career and Education

Where do you see your career in five years? What are your professional goals and dreams? Where would you like to learn and work if given a chance?

Location and Lifestyle

Do you want to live in the city, suburbs, or in another country? Do you like to travel and explore new places? What is your ideal work-life balance?

Family and Relationships

Do you want to get married someday? How many kids would you like to have? How will you share responsibilities if we take the relationship on a higher level?

Retirement and Later Life

What are your visions for retirement? Where would your dream retirement home be? How would you like to spend your golden years?

Discussing future aspirations and goals

Asking questions about goals and aspirations allows the couple to know each other better while checking for compatibility. It also helps in developing intimacy through exposing their plans and sharing their wishes.

Reveals Priorities

Knowing someone’s goals exposes someone’s top priorities like family, job, travel, etc. This provides insight into whether your priorities align.

Sparks Imagination

Thinking about the future excites a couple while helping them get a chance to dream together.

Tests Commitment

Being open to future planning as a couple reveals how committed they are to each other.

Offering encouragement to your partner when you are aware of their goal is truly valuable.

How do future-oriented questions develop relationships

Forward-looking questions can serve several purposes in growing a relationship.

Strengthens Bond

Sharing what you hope and dream of deepens intimacy.

Aligns Visions

It is easier to see the couple’s compatibility in the long run if they are both willing to understand each other’s goals.

Makes Plans

Discussing each other’s aspirations gives them a chance to make plans together.

Shows Commitment

Making plans together shows that a couple is thinking ahead.

Builds Support

Assisting your partner in achieving their dream is as important as knowing about their dream.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

What futuristic technology from books or movies would you most want to see become real?

I would love to see faster-than-light space travel become real so humanity could explore the galaxy and the alien civilizations. The warp drives from Star Trek or the hyperdrives from Star Wars would be the game changers.

If you could instantly master one new skill what would you choose and why?

I think it would be amazing to master playing the piano. I’ve always wanted to sit down and play beautiful music.

What's the most outrageous thing you've done just for fun?

My friends and I crashed a fraternity party during college and pretended we were international exchange students. We faked accents all night and had everyone convinced!

What's your most useless talent or skill?

I can wiggle my ears completely independently of each other. It’s a neat party trick but otherwise useless.

If you could snap your fingers and become fluent in any foreign language which would you choose?

I would love to become fluent in Spanish. It’s such a widely spoken language. I’ve always wanted to be able to converse comfortably in Spanish.

Who's your favorite fictional character and why?

My favorite fictional character is probably Hermione Granger. She’s brilliant, brave, and always stands up for what’s right.

What's your karaoke go-to song?

Don’t Stop Believin’ by Journey is my karaoke jam. I can’t resist singing along whenever it comes on.

What's the best piece of advice you've ever received?

My dad once told me this: “Don’t compare your behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” It helped me stay grounded.

If you could live anywhere in the world where would your dream home be?

I’d love to have a little cottage on a Greek island with stunning ocean views and an easy access beach spot.

What popular trends or fads have you never understood?

I’ve never understood the appeal of Crocs shoes. They just look so clunky and uncomfortable to me.