How to ride your boyfriend: preparation, and techniques

Key points

– Straddle your boyfriend’s lap

Sit facing him with your legs on either side of his hips. You can be sidesaddle at first if you’re not used to the position. Just find a comfortable way to position yourself that doesn’t hurt either of you.

– Rock your hips back and forth

Move gently at first, getting a feel for how your bodies fit together. Roll your hips in a figure eight or circular motion. Go at your own pace and listen to your boyfriend’s cues on what feels good. Don’t be afraid to use your legs and thighs for leverage. Honestly, just have fun experimenting until you find a rhythm you both like.

– Lean in close as you move

Press your bodies together for intimacy. Wrap your arms around his shoulders or neck while you ride. Look into each other’s eyes. Kiss passionately. You can also sit up straight so he has a nice view. The closer contact and gazing maintains sensuality. Remember communication is key, so check in regularly with your guy.

Introduction to Passionate Play

Passionate play can add so much fun and intimacy to any relationship. While it might seem intimidating at first, don’t worry – with communication and care for your partner, you can enjoy this side of your relationship too. Actually, passionate play is just about learning what feels good for each other in a very personal way.

Understanding Your Desires

First off, take some time to think on your own about the types of sensual touches that really get your engine revving. Don’t overthink it – just let your mind wander to pleasures both familiar and fresh. Look inside yourself for clues on your true desires without judgement. Doing this solo relaxing helps you share more honestly with your partner soon.

Communicating with Your Partner

Bring what you’ve reflected on privately to your partner openly but lightly. Remember they want your happiness too. So speak candid and listen well, learning what desires they have hidden too. Compromise comes easier when both parties feel heard. Build from small steps to greater closeness, skipping pressures for now, just enjoy each intimate moment between you.

Setting the Mood

Once you’re in synch on your wants, set the scene by putting comfort first. Dim lights and softest blankets set relaxation as your guide. Explore each other as playmates do, with carefreeness and cheer. See passion not as a performance but quality time shared. So let desires flow without shoulds, and intimacy will deepen your bond for sure.

Preparation and Mindset

Getting into the right headspace is important. You wanna feel good going into things. Maybe do some yoga stretches or read something that makes ya smile ahead of time.

Building Confidence

And having confidence in yourself helps, for sure. Remind yourself what feels good, instead of focusing so much on what ya think others might say. We all got things we wish were different sometimes, but you’re awesome just how you are.

Body Positivity

But don’t be so hard on yourself, yeah? Your body does amazing things for you every day. Instead of worrying about what could change, appreciate what yout got – and what you can do!

Mental Preparation

Hopefully putting yourself in a good headspace will help everything feel more natural. Remember to communicate with your partner and make sure you’re both comfortable. The rest will follow!

Physical Preparation

Getting your body ready is super important for passionate play. Stretching is key- you don’t wanna get hurt! If your muscles are tight, you won’t be able to move how you wanna move. Some stretches to try is touching your toes, reaching for the sky, and doing the butterfly. Hold each one for 30 seconds at least.

Stretching and Flexibility

Flexibility is so crucial. Your body needs to be loose and limber to do all the twists and turns of passionate play. Regular stretching will keep you limber. You wanna aim for stretching every day, even if its just for 5 minutes. Try yoga videos on YouTube– they’re perfect for flexibility training. Listening to music can make stretching more fun too!

Strengthening Core Muscles

Your core is the center of everything during passionate play. Having a strong core means you can hold all sorts of positions for longer. Planks, sit ups, and yoga poses like down dog hit your core beautifully. Don’t forget to work your back too for balance. Try supermans and reverse planks to strengthen your whole core.

Choosing the Right Attire

Comfy clothes that move with you are key. Cute lingerie is nice but you don’t wanna be fidgeting with stuff the whole time. Look for soft fabrics that breathe well like silk, satin or cotton. Make sure nothing’s too tight anywhere- you want full range of motion. Lose fitting yoga pants and relaxed T-shirts are perfect flexible attire.

Techniques and Positions

Actually, there are lots of things to try when you’re in bed. Here are some basic techniques and positions that can bring the spark back.

Basic Riding Techniques

Some basic moves to start with are slow grinding or gentle bouncing. Get comfortable being in control and moving at your own pace. Don’t overthink, just enjoy each other’s company. You can also experiment with adding touching or kissing as you move. Hopefully it leads to some fun discoveries!

Advanced Riding Techniques

But once you feel ready, you can spice things up. Play with faster or deeper motions, or try leaning back and arching your spine. Get creative with where you put your hands and what parts of his body you touch. Don’t be afraid to grind harder if you’re both wanting more heat. Just listen to each other’s signals and go with the passionate flow.

Popular Positions

There are lots of fan favorites when it comes to positioning. Cowgirl is a classic because it puts you in control of the motion. Or try reverse cowgirl so you can peek over your shoulder and drive each other wild. Doggy style can hit new nerve-endings, and you can nestle together chest-to-chest in missionary. Experiment and discover your faves together!

Experimenting with Angles

Don’t forget angles! Tilting your hips up or down, or rocking from side to side, can create amazing new sensations. Propping yourself up on pillows allows for deeper penetration too. You can also take turns being on top or bottom whenever the mood strikes you. Have fun finding all your erogenous hotspots. Who knows what passionate discoveries are in store!

Enhancing the Experience

And one way to enhance the experience is through toys. But toys can allow folks to explore new sensations and power dynamics. Vibrators are a classic for good reason – they reliably deliver toe-curling vibrations to the bits that need attention. Dildos let you and your partner enjoy penetration together in new positions. Butt plugs bring prostate pleasure to all genders. And don’t forget about nipple clamps or feathers!

Incorporating Toys

So when it comes to toys, go slow and make sure everyone’s okay. Talk together about what does or doesn’t feel good. Lubes can also make insertion much more pleasant. Start with a simple vibe or butt plug, then see where the mood takes you and your partner. Experiment and laugh – intimate fun is about joy, not judgment.

Using Lubricants

Lubricants can vastly improve the experience, whether you’re using toys or not. They reduce friction for comfort and increase pleasure sensations. Water-based lubes like Sliquid are easiest to clean up; silicone-based ones like Uberlube last longer but shouldn’t touch silicone toys. And remember: natural body fluids make fine lube too!

Adding Sensory Elements

Blindfolds take one sense away to heighten others through trusting your partner. Feathers, fur, and ice provide new tactile experiences. Music sets the mood; candles provide dim romance. Spices like cinnamon awaken under-recognized sensitive spots. Making a sensory feast engages our primal passions. So experiment with tantalizing new inputs during closeness.

Communication and Feedback

Honest feedback is actually important for figuring out what each other enjoys. Being comfortable talking about what’s working and what isn’t actually helps both of you have more fun. It’s not always easy to know what your partner wants sometimes, so asking questions can help. Hopefully talking and listening to each other will help improve your communication.

Reading Your Partner’s Cues

Paying attention to your partner’s reactions can give you clues about what feels good. Like if they seem more into it or make noise when you try something, that’s probably a good sign to keep doing that. But if their breathing gets weird or they look uncomfortable, maybe slow down or try something different. It takes time to learn what your partner likes, so go slowly at first.

Providing and Receiving Feedback

Be honest but also nice when giving feedback. Saying something didn’t feel as good as you hoped isn’t useful unless you offer ideas for what might work better next time. And be open to feedback too – we’re all still learning! But focus on what you both enjoy rather than criticism. That way the feedback just makes things even better next time.

Adjusting Techniques for Mutual Pleasure

Every partner is different, so what works for one might not for another. So experiment together to find what you both really like. Talk about what you notice feels good, or if something could be more fun. Laugh together when you mess up – it’s all part of figuring each other out. With patience and willingness to listen, you can learn how to really please each other.

Aftercare and Emotional Connection

Aftercare is actually really important for emotional health. Cuddling after play can help both partners feel close and connected. So make sure to spend some quality time relaxing together after any passionate activities.

“Post-Play Cuddling”

Cuddling after is a sweet way to decompress. Lay skin to skin and stroke each other soothingly. Hopefully it helps any sore spots feel better too. Relaxing quietly can be wonderfully intimate actually.

“Discussing the Experience”

Chatting about how you both felt can strengthen your bond further. Laughing together eases any awkwardness too. Be honest but kind – constructive feedback can improve things for next time. Focus on what felt fun or funny rather than any mistakes.

“Strengthening Emotional Bonds”

Intimacy is about more than just physical play. Quality time together outside the bedroom can enhance emotional closeness. Cook a meal, take a walk – do things as partners. Laughter and teamwork is key to any healthy relationship. Communication and understanding prevent misunderstandings later on.

Common Challenges and Solutions

Lots of women feel shy getting started with passionate play. Feeling shy is totally normal! But there’s ways to ease into it. First, don’t put pressure on yourself to be perfect – just focus on having fun! Experiment slowly, go with the flow, and communicate with your partner. Chances are they feel nervous too, and you can overcome things together. You could also start with massages or try intimacy in the dark so you feel more comfortable. Hopefully soon you’ll get more relaxed.

Overcoming Insecurities

Another big thing is worrying what you or your body looks like. Honestly, your partner probably thinks you’re beautiful just as you are. But if bad thoughts creep in, remember that being intimate is about connecting, not how you look. You could also turn off lights or keep some clothes on at first if it helps you feel better. With time, hopefully you’ll realize looks ain’t that important and come to accept yourself. Just go easy and do what feels good.

Dealing with Physical Discomfort

It’s normal to feel awkward or sore now and then too. If something’s not feeling right, say so – your partner wants you to enjoy it! You might try lube, taking it slow, focusing on other activities for a bit or taking a little break. Or if one position’s no good, switch things up. With patience, your body will loosen up. Don’t get discouraged – be gentle with yourself like you would a good friend.

Addressing Performance Anxiety

Worrying about how you’ll perform can put a real damper on things. But honestly your partner just wants to be close to you, not judge you! It helps remembering we all have off days. You can start by setting the mood with cuddles or massages so the focus is togetherness, not whatever worries are in your head. Go slowly, breathe and tune into each other. With practice, hopefully those anxious thoughts will fade and you can just live in the moment.

Advanced Tips and Tricks

Getting adventurous in the bedroom don’t need to be intimidating. Experimenting with new positions or locations is a fun way to mix things up. You and your partner may feel more at ease starting small, like doing the deed on the couch instead of just the bed. So talk together about what you’re each curious to try—hopefully you’ll find things you’re both willing to give a shot!

Wings of Desire

Maybe you’re interested in adding a bit of role play to your romps. Costumes don’t need to be elaborate—dress up in something you ordinarily wouldn’t wear, like your partner’s button-down shirt or a costume jewelry piece, and see where it leads. Or act out a fantasy scenario, even if it’s as simple as pretending to “run into each other” somewhere unexpected, like the laundry room. The key is going with the flow together.

Exploring New Fantasies

Variety helps keep the action in the bedroom interesting long-term. Switch up your locations, positions, and acts regular. But don’t forget the fundamentals too.

Revisiting tried-and-true touches and techniques you know really do it for each other helps maintain that intimate connection. A balance serves you best, so keep learning about one another on ongoing basis.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

Kary Walters

I’m Kary Walters, a wedding planner, life coach, and writer with a passion for helping couples stay together and achieve their relationship goals. With over a decade of experience, I specialize in self-improvement and have worked with individuals & couples facing challenges.