87 Funny lines to use in dating profiles

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Kary Walters

In the world of online dating, a great sense of humor can set you apart from the crowd. Here are 100 funny lines to make your dating profile shine.

  1. If this line works, hopefully we can grab lunch someday. But if not, at least I made myself chuckle.
  2. Looking for someone to go halfies on a kid. You in?
  3. I can’t promise I’ll be fun all the time. But I’ll always bring the funny – even if it’s just by accident sometimes.
  4. Top-notch dad joke connoisseur. Get ready for a lifetime of groans!
  5. My social skills consist of sarcasm and movie quotes. Hope that’s enough to get a second date!
  6. Swipe right if dad bods don’t scare you – I’ve got dad jokes for days.
  7. Not a serial killer (yet) but I can’t make any promises if you don’t find my humor hilarious.
  8. Looking for someone who thinks I’m funny even when I’m not tryin’ to be – because that’s usually how it goes for me.
  9. Lifetime membership to the joke of the day club just for swiping right.
  10. I love to laugh. I promise at least one good chuckle on our first date, maybe even a snort if you’re lucky!

Funny Self-Descriptions

  1. Part-time superhero, full-time coffee addict.
  2. I put the ‘elusive’ in ‘exclusive’
  3.  My life is a constant battle between my love of food and not wanting to get fat.
  4. I’m like a dictionary, I add meaning to your life.
  5. Fluent in sarcasm and movie quotes.
  6. If you can handle my dad jokes, you can handle me.
  7. Running on coffee, sarcasm, and inappropriate thoughts.
  8. I’m not short, I’m concentrated awesome.
  9. Warning: I might steal your fries.

Funny Hobbies and Interests

  1. Napping is like my biggest pastime. Hopefully one day I’ll win a medal for it, too!
  2. Champion of useless trivia.
  3. Pro-level binge-watcher.
  4. Amateur chef, professional taste-tester.
  5. I enjoy long walks to the fridge.
  6. Practicing my poker face for awkward situations.
  7. Weekend plans: petting all the dogs.
  8. Master of board games and procrastination.
  9. World’s okayest guitarist.
  10. Certified meme curator.

Funny Relationship Goals

  1. Let’s be weird together.
  2. Seeking a partner in crime for Netflix marathons.
  3. Just a hopeless romantic with a dirty mind.
  4. Let’s make awkward family gatherings together.
  5. Seeking someone to be the ‘peanut butter’ to my ‘jelly.’
  6. In search of a dance partner for the kitchen.
  7. Looking for someone who will kill spiders for me.
  8. Must love dogs and tolerate cats.
  9. Together we can rule the couch!
  10. And like, who doesn’t want someone to eat snacks with? Sharing is caring actually.
  11. Hopefully it’s hard to find my snacks though, so we gotta work as team! A total power couple in the kitchen for sure.

Funny Quotes and One-Liners

  1. Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?
  2. Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
  3. I love long walks, especially when they’re taken by people who annoy me.
  4. I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
  5. I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.
  6. I’m not great at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
  7. My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.
  8. I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.
  9. If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber.

Funny Food and Drink References

  1. Let’s taco ’bout it over dinner.
  2. I’m just a girl, standing in front of a salad, asking it to be a donut.
  3. I like my coffee like I like my mornings: dark and strong.
  4. Fries before guys.
  5. In a committed relationship with pizza.
  6. Let’s have dinner together and make the fork jealous.
  7. I like to party, and by party I mean take naps and eat snacks.
  8. Wine + Netflix = Perfect date night.
  9. “You had me at ‘I brought food.'”

Funny Pop Culture References

  1. Swipe right if you know who shot first.
  2. My Patronus is a caffeinated sloth.
  3. Let’s be Ross and Rachel, but without the break.
  4. I’m not a player, I just binge-watch a lot.
  5. In a galaxy far, far away, I’m probably watching Star Wars.

Funny Animal and Nature References

  1. I like big mutts and I cannot lie.
  2. My cat thinks I’m kind of a big deal.
  3. Can’t resist a good squirrel watching session.
  4. In a past life, I was probably a cat.
  5. Nature and I have a love-hate relationship.
  6. Dog mom/dad looking for a human counterpart.
  7. I’d rather be hiking, but here I am.
  8. Let’s go on an adventure… to the nearest park.
  9. Professional plant killer.

Funny Job and Career References

  1. Full-time adult, part-time escape artist.
  2. I’m really good at spending money I don’t have.
  3. Career aspirations: Stay-at-home cat parent.
  4. Seeking someone to help me build a pillow fort.
  5. My resume says I’m responsible, but my Snapchats say otherwise.
  6. I get paid to adult.
  7. Future lottery winner.
  8. Currently training for my dream job of professional napper.
  9. Living proof that you can be both a night owl and an early bird.

Funny Miscellaneous Lines

  1. I’m gon’ keep findin’ weird ways to fall over! But hopefully you’ll be there to catch me, and we can laugh about it after.
  2. I don’t need no quest – gravity’s mysteries are enough to keep me entertained every day!
  3. Swipe right if you can handle my puns.
  4. If you don’t like tacos, I’m nacho type.
  5. I may be a handful, but at least you’ll have two hands.
  6. I’m just a cupcake looking for my stud muffin.